Prohibited

Work sucked today.

My boss was off, the day started off well. Then everyone seemed to hit me with a pile of work, plus the new girl needed help. All I seemed to do was run around. I had no lunch and I’d only just finished my jobs before I left work half an hour late. I’m shattered.

Good news is that I’ve finished my book. (I actually finished it yesterday) Oh, and I have an appointment at the new gym for a look around tomorrow morning. So soon we may well know my final decision.

Plus I had a decent chat today with Charlotte (the tart) at work. Ok, so she loves male attention and is pretty but deep down she’s just as insecure as me. Perhaps if I had more confidence she wouldn’t appear so self-assured because at the end of the day it’s all it is with her. She could probably be a good friend if I wasn’t so scared of creating a friendship. With my past and being used by friends it’s hard to form a special friendship with anyone. Who knows, something may develop if I let my confidence grow.

I am so tired! I didn’t get to sleep until late last night all because I was reading my book and I just couldn’t put it down. I’m currently reading Where Rainbows End by Cecelia Ahern. I really enjoyed her first book P.S. I Love You but I haven’t yet seen the film. It’s sitting on one of shelves just waiting to be watched. I’ve already got her third book in my to-read pile, I have quite a few. I only started my current book last night and I’m already three quarters of the way through it!

I still haven’t made any decisions about the gym yet. As I said in my email to Gracey earlier, I have seen another one round where I live, which looks so much more appealing. Well obviously photos are made to look better, but it’s more of an exclusive club so it shouldn’t be too bad. I’m hoping to go look around the place soon, get a feel for it and then decide. However, this one looks cleaner, friendlier, more professional. It won’t have kids swimming lessons or children staring at the windows and making faces. It’s just more appealing to me. I’m still not sure on prices there yet either, so that’s another reason why my thoughts are on hold.

Another incentive for me to lose weight is a possible holiday later on in the year. I’m still not going to give too much away, if we ever book it I’ll let you all know, but I’m keeping quiet for now. But if I think about looking better for then, I’ll feel more confident and happier. I’ll be challenging and changing myself both physically and mentally and that sounds good to me. I know that at first I won’t really want to go, it will be tiring and time consuming, but I’m sure once I see results it will all be worth it. Who am I trying to convince, I think I’ve already made up my mind that I will be going, but to which gym? Actually I’m quite excited now!

Am I a gym bunny? Today I did the deadly deed and actually went in to my local gym, enquired about prices and had a quick tour around. So now the question is, is it worth the money and will I go? Ok, that’s two questions but you get the idea.

I’m thinking about it. The one off joining fee is a bit steep and the monthly charge is managable especially as I get a lot of benefits with it. In fact unlimited use of:

• Fitness Suite (Gym)
• Health Suite (Sauna & Sunbeds)
• Swimming
• Badminton/Squash and Tennis
• All Fitness Classes (Step, Legs Bums & Tums, Pilates, Yoga etc)
• Use of five gyms within the chain
• Free programme reviews, programme assessment and follow-up appointments

Plus if Mark wanted to join me for a weekend he can pay a one-off fee per session and come down with me, which is something that might appeal to him. He doesn’t want to shell out for a membership at his local gym as he barely has the time to go, although if he was here for a weekend it might not be so bad to pay.

I don’t know. I’d like to think it would be good, it would definitely be good for me physically and mentally.

I’ll give it some more thought. It seems a nice place and it’s about time I did soemthing about my weight and body instead of just moaning about it like I have been. Any thoughts?

So, I have been tagged with a sparkly gift by the lovely Gracey and have been picked as one of her featured friends. *smiles*

I’ll keep this going and tag you:

• Becca
• SleepyJane
• Sharon
• Gena

Thank you girls, for being great blog friends and always having some lovely words to say.

Lets see if we can keep this going ladies. Go tag a few friends, inform them and send them some glittery love.

I’m having to find me a swimsuit and I have to have it by the 9th June. Yes girls, I’m going to actually do some exercise in the form of Aqua Aerobics. Yippee!

Me and 2 girls from work (the admin team) are going to start going. It sounds fun. It looks fun. It’s just the swimming cossie part that has put the fear of God in to me.

I’ve already got one swimsuit here that I’ve ordered and I still have time to return it but… eek! I look like a sack of potatoes. With fat thighs. And cellulite! Now, I’m pretty sure I don’t look that awful in my underwear but put me in a black all-in-one (and yes, it has to be an all-in-one… y’know, flabby belly and all that!) and I look like a hideous monster. Currently I’m contemplating hiding myself in a wetsuit; one cut off at the knees so all my belly fat can shoot down my legs and give me chubby knees instead. I can just imagine it now. I’m still on the look out for a decent swimming costume.

But how can I sort out this damn cellulite. One of the most annoying things about being a woman. That and having periods. *growl* I didn’t think it was too bad. Maybe it was the black colouring contrasting against my milky white skin. And the bruises. I bruise far too easily, Mark honestly hasn’t been beating me up!

Enough moaning. I’m off to use all my cellulite creams and body brush profusely.

Oh yeah, I’m back. Call that search party back in!

I haven’t had the chance to do an update since last weekend, but I can’t really think of much to say about my hugely uneventful week off.

Monday we did indeed go to a local town and see some cars. I’ve decided I really do like what I thought I did, however I didn’t want to test drive any so just peered through a few windows and daydreamed a little. I still want a new car, it’s there in the back of my mind for a bit. I’ll try and save some more money up and see what we can do in a few months time.

Tuesday we went back to Mark’s and did some food shopping on the way. Oh the fun of going around a supermarket when all the kids have just finished school. It’s not the best thing I can think of for a lazy afternoon, but you gotta get food when you’re hungry, right?

Majority of the week was spent just chilling out and forgetting about work. I realised that yes, in fact, I did need the break and I’m so glad it came when it did. Mark and I did some talking and a few things are settled. I’m feeling good about things again, not that I was grumpy about my relationship but spending a few days in each others company has put a few things right.

Saturday we popped to mine briefly so I could ditch some clothes and grab a shower before heading off to Mark’s mums. I also found out my sister had been hospitalised. She had been feeling bloated all week and had thrown up a few times on the Saturday morning, so she got called in to the doctors who referred her to the hospital who then admitted her overnight. She’s had some blood tests done and we are now awaiting the results. It looks as if it may be an ulcer, but she’s having an ultra sound scan and having a camera put down her throat. Yuck. She’s back home now though and everything is back to normal.

When we finally arrived at Mark’s mums we were greeted with a huge feast. Steaks, sausages, salad. All very yummy. And all for a birthday meal for Mark. Champagne was drunk (although it was far too dry for me - is there ever a nice fruity kind of drink I’d like?!) and everyone was feeling good.

Sunday we came back home but not until we found out that the Uncle that currently lives in Mark’s house (confusing, much?) is now in hospital. He is suffering with gallstones and kidney stones, and has been for the past 40 years. He’s recently had jaundice and is now quite ill. His consultant has said he needs an operation to remove his gallbladder and do something about the kidney stones. Apparently he is so ill they are basically just falling out and the stones are moving around internally and causing a lot of pain, or something along those lines. Nice! But another doctor turned around and said he’s far too old for it, and it would just be a waste of time. He wanted a second opinion, for which I don’t blame him. He’s now in hospital indefinitely whilst they look after him.. something to do with shivering but his body temperature is far too high, like his body can’t find a happy medium temperature wise. And whilst he’s in there he’ll be put on the waiting list for this operation. Fingers crossed he’ll get better soon.

And finally, yesterday. It was a Bank Holiday here so I went out with my family *gasp* and had a full day out shopping. I bought some clothes and I’m annoyed that the tops look great around my chest area but then just hang to my big fat ol’ tyre of a belly. Exercise will be started asap.

And it was also Mark’s 30th birthday yesterday too, but he was at home in bed and catching up on some sleep so he can do his week of night shifts which started last night. Some birthday, huh? He’s not too happy about being in his 30’s whilst I can still say I’m in my early 20’s. Aww, bless. Still he has the mind of an 18 year old so at least he’s not turned in to a grumpy git just yet!

So I’m off for the next week. Mark’s official holiday is just finishing and mine hasn’t even begun.

This weekend has been pretty good so far. Saturday we went out for lunch with my family for my dad’s birthday back in April. At the beginning of April he’d had an operation on his foot which involved placing a metal rod in his toe to straighten it out so he was unable to get out and about for his actual birthday, hence the late family meal. He still has the rod in there now but can walk about happily as if nothing has happened. The food was lovely, the company good and I was even brave enough to drive Mark, instead of the other way round!

Today after a luxurious lie in, we had lunch and Mark slept for about 2 hours in the afternoon. Then we decided to head off to the local cinema (me driving again!) to see Iron Man. It was actually a pretty decent film, considering I’m not a comic book fan or anything. I’d go see it again or even buy the dvd.

Tomorrow we are off to go look at cars again for me. Hopefully. I very much doubt I’ll find anything I like or want to buy, but at least I’m out looking and may possibly have a test drive. A very small possibility, but it’s still there!

So, a nice week off work for me and it’s not going to be relaxing and we’re not going to run out of things to do. I already know at the end of the week we are going to see Mark’s mum and spend the weekend there for yet another meal. This one to celebrate Mark’s 30th on Monday 26th. Bless him. Older but not necessarily wiser!

Y’know. Work has been hectic and I’m really tired. I’ve spent the past couple of days running around trying to cram all my work in to go help the new girl, who as lovely as she is, isn’t as quick at doing things (I want to push her out of the way and do it myself! Fast!) and she doesn’t prioritise very well.

I’m shattered.

All that is keeping me smiling is my week off next week. Yep, you heard right. I’m actually taking time out from the office in the hopes I’ll find a nice bit of sun and can relax and read. A lot. But, as always, I’m sure it will rain or snow when we are really supposed to be hitting the beginning of summer. It’s just my luck.

Not sure what I’m doing yet. I’m hoping to go look at some cars, out for a meal and spend time with Mark. We’ll probably head over to his folks too because he rarely sees them… and it’s his 30th birthday on the 26th. Oh yes, the big Three Ohhh. I’ve got him a couple of things, and I’m planning a few presents. I have ideas, it’s just finding the time to action them.

My Wii Fit came last week. I’ve played it a few times, but I’m already fed up of it telling me I’m overweight and putting on more. So far I’ve put on 2lbs and I haven’t even eaten lots and I’ve been doing exercise. Hmph. I’m not sure if it’s because I do it at different times of the day, but that’s my excuse and I’m sticking too it! It’s quite fun to play with anyway so I’m having a laugh, getting my heart pumping and feeling good.

I’m lacking for a decent entry of late, whoops.

See what the AWESOME SleepyJane sent me??

I got the package this morning, I’d been expecting it but not what I found inside. I knew I won the handmade gift competition a little while ago, but was not prepared for what I actually received.

Thank you so much!! There are so many goodies and wonderful things, and see I’ve even got make up now and I’ve been told to use it. Wheee… so many bits to try out, I’m going to go have a play with them all.

I won’t post a proper entry because I’m feeling a little down over a few issues I have. It’s nothing you all haven’t heard before, but I’ve been left reeling again after a couple of things. My self-esteem has been dented and I feel a little out of sorts. Plus, it’s not fair to make you read all about it.

I’m sure by tomorrow I’ll be back to my usual bundle of smiles and chirpiness. Not that you’d ever notice it here!

Honestly, why am I so down on myself?