Prohibited

For quite some time now I’ve been wanting to get a new car. My current one is fine, but I’ve had it four years and I feel like it’s time for a change.

Yesterday we went looking around some used cars in my town and although we didn’t find what I’m looking for, we got to find out what I’m likely to get for my money. Then we stumbled across a pretty good car, only a year old and very little mileage.. but it was right. It wasn’t me.

I searched around and found a couple that I’d like to see that are not very far from home. Yes, they were a little more than I could afford, but I just wanted to have a look, see the car, take it for a test drive. I’d know if I really wanted that type of car and I could find something a little cheaper. But no one wanted to know, or come with me.

It’s all been put on hold now. Mark has said he’ll come view the cars in a couple of weeks time, when we have a week booked off from work. I’m not so sure about it all now though.

What happens if I really like the car and want that one. I can’t afford it, I can’t buy it. I’ll have to wait for quite a while before I could afford it. I know my parents have offered me a loan instead of going to the bank, but it’s convincing them I can pay it back.

Yesterday was a bit of an anti-climax. I’d been told I could go look at cars and see what’s available. But as soon as I find one I’d really like to view it’s all forgotten about.

I’m trying to not let it get to me, to avoid disappointment, to stop talking about it in front of my parents. I’ll just be tempting fate and will be even more annoyed when it doesn’t happen. I just wish I could sort it all out myself, that my savings would be multiplied over night and I wouldn’t have to worry about borrowing from my parents. I know I could wait, hang on to the car I have now and save myself, but it will be years before I even get that kind of money.

I don’t know… maybe I’m just trying to run before I can walk.