Prohibited

Just a quick entry to say Christmas this year was good, even if I haven’t received all of my presents yet. I’ll have my second Christmas day on Saturday when Mark turns up and we swap all our goodies.

There were no family arguments or tantrums, and no really bad or unwanted presents. Everything went perfectly. For once.

Not a lot more to say, it’s just a quick update before I sort out things for work tomorrow. But then no more work for 4 days which I’m always thankful for.

Hope you all had a good Christmas! x

The Friday before Christmas, and what do I have to say for myself? The answer is not a lot really.

Most people have finished for work until the New Year. I haven’t. Having said that, I expected to work everyday except the Bank Holidays but instead have been given both the Thursday and New years Eve off. Plus I should think we’ll get to leave early on the two days I am working.

I don’t really want to moan about work now we are so close to Christmas, but I’ve had a few bad days this week. Old Bitch Sue has been in contact recently and mentioned in an email about my old boss seriously considering asking me back to where I used to work. Would I consider it? To be honest the money would come in very handy (they would offer me more) but as a very wise girl said “it’s not all about the money”. She’s right. I didn’t particularly like it there, I’d have to deal with Sue again and is it wise to go back to somewhere who made you redundant? I’d never feel my job was safe even if I was constantly reassured.

Nothing has happened or is official yet, but I’ve been considering my choices. I’d probably go in for a meeting, see what they offered and then tell them where to go. See how they like it.

Other than that, I’ve been feeling quite lonely at work. I feel very much a loner, like I’m slightly picked on and that I’m not valued that much. The job is ideally suited for a school leaver, to learn responsibility and gain experience. Not for someone who has worked for 8 years. Unfortunately I feel very disappointed with myself and where I’ve landed. I wanted to progress and feel I could settle in a role, to gain experience, skills and money. It’s not happened and I’m back to where I first started all those years ago. I feel like I’ve failed.

I know the only person that can change anything is me, and I know I really need to speak to my line manager if it gets to me too much. I just don’t know what direction to head in, what I’m looking for or how to get there when I do eventually know.

I’m very nearly ready for Christmas. Most of my presents are wrapped, I just need to do Marks now. I spoilt him a lot this year and now I’ve realised just how many things there are to wrap up. Tomorrow will be spent doing that and then I’m all set for the big day.

Mark will be here the weekend after Christmas and we’ll spend until New Years Day together, so I’m looking forward to that. We’ll also have our Christmas then and swap presents. Wish he could be here on the actual day but I don’t think that’s ever likely to happen. He’s always on some crappy shift at work. This year he’s on nights.

Still, we get to spend some time together after, and that’s all that matters. It’s something we are both used to now, although it would change if we ever had a family together - fathers get priority for the day off. Hmm, maybe that’s something I should consider… only joking. We are very happy the way we are, 5 years on and going stronger than ever. Who said long-distance relationships never worked?

On my last entry I was asked who the bitchy receptionist was in the photos. Let me introduce you to the girls I work with.

Working from left to right as you see the picture we have Charlotte, Juliet, Me, Becky, Jacque.

Charlotte is the girl I didn’t think I would like but have become quite friendly with. She lent me her gorgeous shoes. She now practically mothers me, like she’s taken me under her wing and just wants to show everyone the real me and help me become more confident.

Juliet is my boss, the Office Manager. People also joke that she is my mum as we are so alike. We get on well, I share an office with her everyday so it’s a good job!

Becky is the receptionist. She might be leaving next year and going to Camp America. You lot know about her.

Jacque works with Charlotte. She’s also someone I didn’t think I’d get along with quite as well as I do. She was the one who suggested going on How to Look Good Naked with Gok. Another one who is helping me with my confidence etc.

So there you go. Did you expect any of them to be different?

I think it’s time for a photo entry. Plus I don’t really have anything else to write about, so here is me in all my finery. Sorry to those who’ve already seen it!

Mark and I.

And again.

The girls.

Waiting around.

Me.

Oops.

No entry for a good week or so, but I haven’t had much to say. The christmas party was brilliant, I can’t remember the last time I had so much fun at a “social” thing. You know me, I don’t really do outings and such.

My dress looked okay (I think) and I felt alright. I put my contacts in, my make up on and slipped my feet in my sparkly shoes and I was ready.

Mark looked great in his tux, although he did feel a little uncomfortable in it. But he’s not used to wearing it and I felt the same way in my dress.

The meal was nice, I left my starter of prawns and had the main roast and a very yummy chocolate dessert.

The lights went down, the music came on and I was dragged up to dance with my workmates. Mark even got up and danced with me at the end too.

Our hotel was nice, although as we arrived last we had a room that wasn’t quite decorated (it was being refurbished) so a few lights weren’t up, the grouting not finished etc. But it didn’t look too bad.

I’d planned on taking some pictures but because my battery died I didn’t managed to get a single one. Although people at work managed to get some so I’ve shoved a few up on my Facebook page.

Since then I had the week off and spent it with Mark. The first half of the week we spent at his mums whilst he had his car serviced, and the second half we spent at his house. It went far too quickly, like usual, and I didn’t really want to go back to work yesterday.

I’ve been buying christmas presents like there’s no tomorrow. All my money has just disappeared and I’m near enough penniless. This year I just don’t feel in the festive mood at all. Our decorations aren’t up at home, and I’m not organised like I usually am. I still have to buy cards and wrapping paper.

I feel like I’ve left everything to the last minute because I was concentrating so much on that damn party night and now it’s like everything to do with christmas is throwing itself at me. I know I’m okay though, I have one more present to order and I’ll just wait for things to arrive (I love internet shopping!) and then I can wrap everything up.

So you see, I haven’t really done much that’s worth telling you about.

Just a quick entry to let you all know how last night went.

After forgetting the tickets (and then finding out we didn’t actually need them) everything went well. A little rushed for time when getting ready but I looked pretty decent, my hair was up, my make up on and Mark looked damn smart too.

I work with these people every day, but half of them didn’t recognise me!

I was told I look gorgeous and fabulous and stunning. That my hair was fantastic and I scrubbed up well. I had kisses and hugs from most people, including the bosses which was a surprise to me.

I even managed to get up and have a dance with a couple of people and then both Mark and I were dragged up to have a boogie too.

We had a professional picture taken for £10, in which we are both reasonably happy!

No pictures I’m afraid, my camera seemed to have been turned on in my bag somehow so when Mark tried to take a picture of me being swung around the dance floor the camera died! Still, we had our camera from work to take some pictures, which I’m sure I’ll look hideous in.

I’ll type up a bit more later. I just wanted to let you know Mark and I both had fun and will probably be heading out for next years Chrsitmas party too.

So a big thumbs up for the night I had been dreading and boring you all to tears with for the past couple of months.