1 Year

02Jul09

Can you believe that yesterday it was a year since I started at the gym?

Filed under: Gym   |  5 Comments

So much to do

01Jul09

So, it’s already Wednesday hey? Where has this week gone?

I had a really good weekend. Mark came around on Saturday and I kicked off my diet by joining Weight Watchers online. So now I’m doing that diet and I haven’t had much trouble so far. I know it’s only a few days in but things seem to be going well. I weighed myself today and I’ve already lost 2lbs from last week and I hope I can continue to lose it at a slow and steady weight. Fingers crossed.

On Sunday we had a good hour and a half at the gym, spending half an hour on the treadmill alone with an hour of weights afterwards. I was absolutely shattered and didn’t jump into the pool like I had intended even though it looked soooo good!

We then followed this up by having a lovely roast and watching 21 and then having a nap. It’s been so hot here and neither of us have been sleeping that well, so a nap was definitely in order.

Filed under: Films, Food, Gym, Happiness, Weight   |  5 Comments

King of Pop

26Jun09

“The meaning of life is contained in every single expression of life. It is present in the infinity of forms and phenomena that exist in all of creation.”
- Michael Jackson (August 29, 1958 – June 25, 2009)

Filed under: Life   |  4 Comments

Buns of steel

25Jun09

I’ve just come back from another torturous hour with the personal trainer at the gym. I swear he is trying to kill me!

I know I’ve said that I need to lose weight, but I also need to be able to breathe.

After doing so many routines which involve over 120 squats my bum has firmed up a lot and even got perter. Now I’m back on the legs it seems and we are still working on the super sets. My thighs are so sore I just know I’m not going to be able to walk tomorrow. Good job I work in an office and don’t have to run about too much.

The routine doesn’t look too bad when written down, but in reality it’s a killer:

Cross trainer – 10 minutes. 30 sec sprint, 30 sec slower.

5 point lunge – 3 x 5 each side
Leg extension – 3 x 18 reps, with 20kg weight

Sumo squat and upright row – 3 x 15 reps, 12kg weight
Semi squat push press – 3 x 18 reps, 4kg+ weight

Walking lunge – 3 x 10-16
Step knee lifts – 3 x 10 each side

Press up hand touch – 3 x 20-30 sec
Jab, cross, hook – 3 x 10 reps

Followed by stretches and possibly a life support machine!

I don’t know whether I find it a challenge because I’m tubby and still a little unfit or if I’m just meant to find it difficult.

Does this sound tough to anyone else?

Filed under: Gym   |  3 Comments

Bit of a fatty!

23Jun09

It appears I’ve put on a bit of weight.

Tonight I popped over to the family planning clinic for the pill and was given the usual assessment – blood pressure, weight, bmi. We all know I’m not a skinny minny and I’ve put on 3kg, back to what I was at my first weigh in with the nurse in October! I thought this gym malarky was to help me lose weight!

I’m going to have to rethink my diet, which is terribly bad at the minute, and try to eat much more healthily.

Any ideas, girls?

Filed under: Food, Gym, Weight   |  8 Comments

Goodreads

21Jun09

I’ve become a little obsessed with reading again lately, and have been going through books like there’s no tomorrow. I wish I had more time to read, I seriously don’t know how some people manage it!

Whilst browsing a little on my blogroll and other blogs, I noticed that a few have a link to Goodreads so I thought I’d check it out.

And since then I’ve become more than a little addicted to the site.

It’s a bit like Shelfari, if anyone has ever used it but I tend to find I get on better with Goodreads; plus it lists more of the books I have actually read.

It’s opening up a whole heap of books I’ve never read, never heard of and I find myself closeted in the Chick Lit area but there is so much more to explore and I hadn’t really noticed this until I joined. I feel so unintelligent reading a fictional boy-meets-girl romance or soppy stories. I haven’t really read anything with depth or meaning for a very long time. I hope that’s all about to change.

I love books. I love reading and organising them. So this site is perfect for me to potter around on and learn more.

If you feel like joining, add me. You know I’ll make a good friend!

Filed under: Books, Fun, Happiness   |  2 Comments

Oh, to be completely spot free

18Jun09

That will be my dying wish!

I seem to be going through a bit of a hormone imbalance at the minute. My skin has really flared up and has become blotchy, red and quite spotty mainly on my cheeks and neck. I thought being in my mid-twenties would have stopped these sudden break outs but it hasn’t had any effect. I’m still as prone as I ever was, maybe even more so. Everyone around me seems to have control of their skin. Why do I always have to be the odd one out?

Granted, my diet probably isn’t the best but it hasn’t changed dramatically over the past few years and I’m still eating pretty much the same. After years of stopping and starting with a skin care regime I’ve finally started one up again but I see no benefits from that either. Unless this is clearing out my skin and things have to get worse before they can get better.

Plus squeezing the spots is always a big no-no isn’t it? But I can’t seem to help myself. If I see something I start picking. I have a tendency to do this in the morning just as I’m getting ready for work which leaves my skin completely red, out of control and hideous. I must stop doing this! My skin is already a bit pock marked on the cheeks due to chicken pox scars and previous squeezing, I don’t really want it to get worse!

So girls, give me your tips, share your advice and help me clear my skin up.

Filed under: Beauty, I'm Complicated, Life   |  9 Comments

Ain’t No Sunshine

16Jun09

I haven’t been able to stop singing this today.

What’s one song that you haven’t been able to get out of your head recently?

Filed under: Music   |  3 Comments

Support

14Jun09

Thank you all for your lovely comments.

I’ve been feeling better over the past few of days even though the doctor said I won’t probably feel different for a couple of weeks. I think it may be more the relief that I’m now getting help and trying to find a way out of this hole.

I’ve been taking the tablets since Wednesday night and I’ve been feeling a little nauseous off and on throughout the days, it’s definitely clearing up now and I don’t feel so bad all the time but if it’s something I’ve got to go through to sort myself out then I’ll do it.

This weekend Mark and I stayed at my house. Friday we saw the old neighbours move out and the new ones move in. So far they’ve taken over most of the road, not only with the removal van but friends popping over to see the house. As far as we can tell there is the mum, dad and two daughters. One looks about 17 and the other possibly about 14. I’m not too sure what I think of them yet, I’ve been stared at a few times when I’m going back and forth to my car, and the younger girl seems to have a thing for trying to flirt with Mark. I think they think he’s my older brother!

I even helped Mark wash his car and after a couple of hours I had pink shoulders and strap marks from my vest which are rapidly fading. Why can’t I just tan? You’d think that with the fair hair and pale skin I’d burn easily or at least look a little bronzed. But, nope, I don’t. I seem to reflect the sun with my milky white skin!

Today we watched The Holiday. I actually managed to get Mark to watch a girlie film! Probably one for watching in the Christmas holidays and not the summer but I enjoyed it. Plus Jack Black was in it and I like him. We are running out of films to watch that neither of us have seen and we are now down to the chick flicks which I tend to watch by myself. I think a trip to the shop to buy some more DVDs may have to happen soon. We need to add to our already HUGE collection!

Enough about me, how was your weekend?

Filed under: Films, Fun, Happiness, I'm Complicated, Life   |  Leave a Comment

Confession Time

10Jun09

I’m having some serious issues with myself at the minute. As you can probably tell.

After speaking to a colleague at work (and to the boss, but that’s a whole different story!) I got thinking and realised that I’ve been downright unhappy for the best part of this year. It’s been a real noticable change. I’ve been down and miserable for quite a while but since we hit ‘09 it has been so much worse.

I looked about and thought I may have the dreaded D word. Depression. I checked the symptoms and it seems that I do have majority of them. I’m not placing myself in a box, but it explains so much about myself. The lack of confidence, the feeling useless, helpless, unwanted, unloved, hating myself, the continuous low mood and lack of enjoyment. It explains why I can’t get motivated or find anything interesting anymore and a whole heap of other stuff.

My friend has been skirting around the issue with me for a little while and I was always so defensive, but I’ve been able to come to accept that things for me just aren’t right. That I need to do something about it. I’m on a path of destruction and I need to get off and start getting focused on my life again.

This is coming across badly, it isn’t meant to be a “feel sorry for me” entry. Just how it is and what has been going on in my mind for the past few days and weeks. Why I have been a bit distant and reluctant to mention too much.

Today I went to the doctors after finally plucking up the courage to give them a call last week. This was a dreaded thing I had to do. I went armed with a list of things I wanted to get across, to mention, to voice. I didn’t want to get into the doctors office and feel like I was being judged so I needed a guide to aid me.

I’m now on anti-depressants as of today.

I’m hoping these will help and allow me to get rid of the black cloud currently surrounding me. I want to get on and enjoy my life instead of feeling miserable and useless all the time. I feel guilty and that I don’t really need help, that I’ve failed and that people are disappointed in me for even asking for help. I feel I’ve let not only myself down but everyone else around me.

But deep down I know I need to do something and if this is the way to do it then I shall.

This is me taking the first step to changing who I am, to viewing things in a different way and starting to live again. Wish me luck.

Filed under: I'm Complicated, Life   |  7 Comments