Prohibited

Y’know. Work has been hectic and I’m really tired. I’ve spent the past couple of days running around trying to cram all my work in to go help the new girl, who as lovely as she is, isn’t as quick at doing things (I want to push her out of the way and do it myself! Fast!) and she doesn’t prioritise very well.

I’m shattered.

All that is keeping me smiling is my week off next week. Yep, you heard right. I’m actually taking time out from the office in the hopes I’ll find a nice bit of sun and can relax and read. A lot. But, as always, I’m sure it will rain or snow when we are really supposed to be hitting the beginning of summer. It’s just my luck.

Not sure what I’m doing yet. I’m hoping to go look at some cars, out for a meal and spend time with Mark. We’ll probably head over to his folks too because he rarely sees them… and it’s his 30th birthday on the 26th. Oh yes, the big Three Ohhh. I’ve got him a couple of things, and I’m planning a few presents. I have ideas, it’s just finding the time to action them.

My Wii Fit came last week. I’ve played it a few times, but I’m already fed up of it telling me I’m overweight and putting on more. So far I’ve put on 2lbs and I haven’t even eaten lots and I’ve been doing exercise. Hmph. I’m not sure if it’s because I do it at different times of the day, but that’s my excuse and I’m sticking too it! It’s quite fun to play with anyway so I’m having a laugh, getting my heart pumping and feeling good.

I’m lacking for a decent entry of late, whoops.

See what the AWESOME SleepyJane sent me??

I got the package this morning, I’d been expecting it but not what I found inside. I knew I won the handmade gift competition a little while ago, but was not prepared for what I actually received.

Thank you so much!! There are so many goodies and wonderful things, and see I’ve even got make up now and I’ve been told to use it. Wheee… so many bits to try out, I’m going to go have a play with them all.

I won’t post a proper entry because I’m feeling a little down over a few issues I have. It’s nothing you all haven’t heard before, but I’ve been left reeling again after a couple of things. My self-esteem has been dented and I feel a little out of sorts. Plus, it’s not fair to make you read all about it.

I’m sure by tomorrow I’ll be back to my usual bundle of smiles and chirpiness. Not that you’d ever notice it here!

Honestly, why am I so down on myself?

For quite some time now I’ve been wanting to get a new car. My current one is fine, but I’ve had it four years and I feel like it’s time for a change.

Yesterday we went looking around some used cars in my town and although we didn’t find what I’m looking for, we got to find out what I’m likely to get for my money. Then we stumbled across a pretty good car, only a year old and very little mileage.. but it was right. It wasn’t me.

I searched around and found a couple that I’d like to see that are not very far from home. Yes, they were a little more than I could afford, but I just wanted to have a look, see the car, take it for a test drive. I’d know if I really wanted that type of car and I could find something a little cheaper. But no one wanted to know, or come with me.

It’s all been put on hold now. Mark has said he’ll come view the cars in a couple of weeks time, when we have a week booked off from work. I’m not so sure about it all now though.

What happens if I really like the car and want that one. I can’t afford it, I can’t buy it. I’ll have to wait for quite a while before I could afford it. I know my parents have offered me a loan instead of going to the bank, but it’s convincing them I can pay it back.

Yesterday was a bit of an anti-climax. I’d been told I could go look at cars and see what’s available. But as soon as I find one I’d really like to view it’s all forgotten about.

I’m trying to not let it get to me, to avoid disappointment, to stop talking about it in front of my parents. I’ll just be tempting fate and will be even more annoyed when it doesn’t happen. I just wish I could sort it all out myself, that my savings would be multiplied over night and I wouldn’t have to worry about borrowing from my parents. I know I could wait, hang on to the car I have now and save myself, but it will be years before I even get that kind of money.

I don’t know… maybe I’m just trying to run before I can walk.

I was going to write and say I’m being a grumpy little darling today, but that’s not the case anymore. Having read a couple of peoples entries I’ve calmed down from what was causing my head to explode and I don’t really know what my problem was. Making sense? Good.

Why doesn’t your own life seem interesting when you write about it? All I seem to do is eat, work and sleep and I’m fed up with writing how my day at work went. I know exactly how it went, it’s not something I need to remind myself about. I don’t need to have memories. Yet others seem to do so much more, so much you feel you are missing out on. Grr.

*sigh*

I think I’m going to go take a shower, wrap up warm (I’m freezing!) and have a little think and talk with myself. I feel like I’m heading in a downward spiral again.

Indeed, that is how it feels. Like a huge big, giant weight has been taken from my shoulders and tossed aside. I no longer have to worry about it. That weight was Becky. In some very weird way I feel I can get on with my life without having to watch my step, mind my words or pretend everything is hunky dory. I no longer will have to tiptoe around at work and try to keep the peace with everyone after her words have caused some problems. I just won’t have to worry about her. No it’s time for me to feel like I belong. To start afresh.

I’ve also finished feeding Harley. Upon leaving her I felt a huge relief plus great sadness. I know I’m going to miss her, she was an awesome cat. I feel bad she is being left with an owner who doesn’t deserve her or probably treat her as well as she could. I don’t mean she abuses her, but she probably doesn’t receive a lot of attention. My friend is one who’s always out with her new man (well the one she’s currently with, until he’s run out of usefulness!) and Harley barely gets a look in. I wish I could keep her.

So it’s been a day of finishing things. And now it’s time to start a new chapter, one without a monster always lurking behind the scenes ready to jump out at any given opportunity. No, it’s a chapter filled with happiness and other such soppy stuffs.

I’m still on the cat duties, although Wednesday night will be my last visit. It can’t come round quick enough. I love Harley, but looking after someone else’s house and cat is quite a big responsibility - what would happen if I didn’t lock up properly and the house got broken in to? Plus, the job is quite time consuming and I’m losing a lot of my “me time”. My evenings seem very short and I don’t really get a chance to do what I want to do.

The weekend went far too quickly and I felt like I didn’t really spend a lot of time with Mark. Saturday morning I was up early and round feeding Harley before popping in to the hairdressers. My hair is now in a short bob, about chin length, and I’m liking it so far. After having my hair washed, dried and styled I arranged the next appointment with a completely new person. The girl I usually have is leaving to go back to her home town in America with her husband as he’s in the military. I met up with the boss to go buy Becky and the part-timer’s leaving presents. We’ve got Becky a green Ipod Nano that she wanted, and the part-timer has got a lovely necklace and a pair of earrings, which I’d really like myself. Then we nipped in to the tattooist/piercers and I’ve now got a hoop in the top of my right ear. I’ve been wanting to have it re-pierced for a while so it was finally time. The boss got her tragus pierced as she already has a quite a few piercings. I think at the time of piercing mine was more painful but with the pain afterwards hers is worse than mine. My pain was caused by having the needle through the cartilage but the plastic sheath he wanted to insert before putting the hoop in was too large for the hole. Ouchie!

Never mind, it looks good now. Although it isn’t right at the top of my ear, so there’s still room if I want another piercing. I’d quite like to put my old stud back in but I don’t know if it would look fine or fit well. I had hoped to get the second piercing in my lobes but the pain from the first one put me off. Maybe at a later date I’ll get them done.

After the piercings I finally got home and found Mark washing his car. I cheated and took mine to a hand-wash where some lovely men gave my car a thorough cleaning for a little bit of money - anything to get out of doing it myself. I’m lazy. Then we didn’t really have that much time before having to head back to Harley. Luckily Sunday was spent together with me popping out in the morning for my cat duties and us going in the evening.

So that’s my weekend. I have two more days of cat feeding, two more days of Becky. Did I mention she’s leaving on Wednesday instead of Friday? Yes!! Things are starting to look good.

Well folks, I am still around, I’ve just been a little busy looking after the cat and trying to fit in my other usual bits and pieces I do of an evening. But at least it’s Friday tomorrow and soon the weekend. Although it’s set to be a busy one; feeding Harley, getting my hair cut, washing the car, getting passport photos of Mark and going to the garden centre. I don’t think there’s going to be a lot of time for just Mark and I. However, I am hoping to treat him to a meal out on Saturday night.

Becky is no leaving on Wednesday along with the part-time girl, so I’m off out with the boss after my haircut to choose some leaving presents. I’ve been counting down the days for ages. Can’t believe it’s only four days now.

Now I’m just waiting for my Wii Fit to turn up and then I’ll be a very happy bunny indeed.

I’m quickly getting quite a bad headache. It’s been gradually getting worse all afternoon and all I want to do is have a snooze.

This week looks as if it may be a good one. I was given a pay rise. The boss called me in to his office this morning and told me how fantastic I am at my job, that I’ve done really well over the past year. I keep everything flowing and never have or cause any problems. He’s really pleased with me. I’m being given a small amount extra each month and on top of that (I think) a 2.5% pay rise. Hopefully this is all sorted and when I receive my pay this month it should have gone up. I know it’s not a lot, but it’s better than nothing, right? At least I feel a little appreciated for all my hard work. (Mark has just said I should have got 10 times as much because I’m wonderful!)

I’m tired. I’m going to try and sleep off this headache. It’s hurting my eyes, the light is too bright. What does a migraine feel like?

This is the little one I’ll be kitty sitting next week. Her name is Harley, named because her purr is so loud. She’s a really gorgeous, sweet and affectionate 3 year old, and I don’t mind looking after her at all. I’ve already been round there this weekend because her owner asked me to. She couldn’t be bothered to come home from her boyfriends to fed her. Poor little Harley.

The weekend has been as predictable as I thought. I’ve read and played on the computer like I always do. Now I’ve got to get ready for another week at work. From Wednesday morning I’m looking after Harley (and could stay around her house if I wanted to) but I’m not sure until when. Possibly Tuesday night.

I’m all fully booked for next weekend though. Mark is here, and obviously I’ll be looking after Harley. Plus I want to treat Mark to a meal out if I have the funds. Pay day is just around the corner so I can’t see that being too much of a problem.

Roll on the weekend…